Why Teachers Should Play Mad Gab

The title says it all my friends.
My sister occasionally has some unique letters from her kids & to protect privacy I'm changing names. Also, I'm not telling you where she teaches or even what grade-but think: elementary. :)

It never fails. Fill a room full of people & conflict is sure to appear. Kids can sometimes be utterly obnoxious. My sister has a few who seem to be constantly pitted against each other- oftentimes they slip out of their seats to get near each other and inflict mental torture followed by swift physical vengeance. Only when the physical happens & my sister hears the shrieks of pain and outrage is she alerted to the problem behind her. She rarely gets to eat lunch because she is too busy enforcing rules.

Below are 5 of the most recent letters from her students. Older ones were unfortunately discarded before I thought of posting this. A favorite misspelling was "sawry" for "sorry."

We'll call this first student: Melanie. She's had a saga of letters and verbal requests to be transferred to a different table in the classroom- here are two of her letters:

Letter #1 -From: Melanie
Dear Miss Beard,
I am so sorry but I want to go to a different table because do you want me to go crazy?

(Melanie is usually at odds with another girl in the room: Mazie.)

Letter #2 -From Melanie- again
Dear Miss Beard,
I think two weeks are you know too long and whatever you do please don't put me next to Mazie or my head will pop off of my body! I am sorry if I'm getting anoying but I just can't take it! Also please do not put this on my record! Because then I will die instantly and insted I will have a heart atack! :(
And please write back.

From,
Melanie
P.S. This might be the last letter!

Actually, Melanie is one of the better writers. Now on to (her enemy) Mazie's letter.

Letter #3- From: Mazie
"Form Mazie to Miss Beard" Look ->
Dear, Miss Beard
You are the best trecher in the earth. I love so much becunes you are nice in school. I love you Miss Beard.

Moving on...

Letter #4- From: Susan
To: Miss Beard <3 From: Susan
Dear Miss Beard
I love Miss Beard because you are respetful to use and you bring use sacks. You did a rellay good gob being a techer. We love you so much we want you to be our _*_ gred teacher. You are a nice teacher and you are to pretty to be a teacher. Love, Susan

Letter #5- (my favorite! -and about the worst behaved student in my sister's class) Dillon
(I have no idea who gave this one to her, though.)

Anonymous:
Dillon is in chrodol.
Jastin, Dillon, Scott, Matthew, to the pricpol oficire. Dillon is in chrodol Because he said Big fat mother panes. he said it to Scott doring desmesol.

Translation?
Dillon is in trouble.
Justin, Dillon, Scott, Matthew, went to the principal's office. Dillon is in trouble because he said "Big fat mother panties." He said it to Scott during dismissal.

Also, "sacks" from Susan's letter= snacks.
What's that? You didn't need my translation? :) Well then you must play Mad Gab quite often.

That's all class. You may go to "desmesol" now. :)



*Hid the grade level to protect privacy.