My thoughts were distracted. I was feeling sad and lonely. Stupid facebook showed so many of my friends enjoying themselves...it only served to rub-in the loneliness I was feeling. I felt unneeded and unwanted. Life after college was completely different from what I had expected. I wanted friends...friends to pursue me. To choose me. To send the first text message, e-mail, post on facebook, or make the first phone call.
Some of this loneliness can be applied to the fact that I don't have a church family at the moment. I don't feel like I fit in at my parent's church and while I have tried some new churches, it's nerve-racking to venture into a new building where I know no one. But you know, it is when I reach these moments of utter despair that God reminds me, He's there.
Sometimes, for the greater good, He allows people to forget that I exist in order to leave me no options but Himself.
Does this work? Not always right away. Sometimes I ignore Him with a frustrated sigh. There are other times when I feel like I've been smacked with the "Obvious" stick and apologize to Him, remind myself of my life's purpose and move on.
The tiny woman from the game of Life reminded me of myself. Detached from the reality of Life...alone, forgotten. How did she get on my floor? How did I get where I am? Why can't I be the "perfect Christian" that I want to be? Jesus never promised easy street, that's for sure. It has been recommended to me that I create a "life statement" or "goal" about why I'm here and what I should be focused on each day. Here goes: (this is subject to editing as I continue to grow in Christ)
'I, Hannah, a dim reflection of Christ, do solemnly swear to love those that God places in my life through: excellent work, pursuing friendships, engaging in ministry opportunities and investing in a deep love-relationship with my Savior on a daily, hourly, even minutely basis. All of this so that I may be ready in season and out to share with others the wonderful news of Christ and His great passion for every single person.'
Still needs some work, but I'll start there. I probably should go place that little pink woman back in the box of Life so she too can continue to fulfill her purpose...