The Babies and the Gun

I have found myself talking about guns this year. Especially in the last two weeks.

In fact, there is a recording on our lovely ladies event video from today* of my voice in the background commenting about guns. We were discussing shooting at a bee hive in a coworkers yard and I claimed it was a silly thing to do..."You should shoot at criminal's knee caps instead." Of course, my coworkers laughed loudly and I'm soft-spoken so hopefully you can't REALLY hear the comment...and normally they put video clips like that to music so I'm desperately hoping it won't be heard! Of course, I just told y'all about it...but so few people read this I think my reputation is safe...

Clarification: I do not own a gun...but I might get one someday. I would do my best NEVER to shoot at a person, but if you break into my house and I have someone to protect (i.e. a kid) plan on surgery for bullet removal in the near future. I'm all for people being allowed to own guns and carry them (after going through proper classes on handling, cleaning, etc.) Guns aren't the problem- it's the people who make the bad decisions. There- disagree me if you wish, but please don't flood this post with comments about how horrible you think I am for this belief.

I've had 3 experiences with guns. Two of them were spent skeet shooting, but this is a story about the only time I've come in close contact with a handgun. (Meaning- I almost used it.)

Once upon a time, my family moved to Texas. I was pleased to get an all-day baby-sitting job for two little 18-month-old girls. Let me describe this for you: giant Texas mansion with two sets of stairs to two separate parts of the house. The babies slept upstairs...one up either set of stairs. One was the granddaughter and the other was a friend's child. They obviously weren't thinking when they left a 16-yr-old in that kind of situation. A couple of my sisters were allowed to come and help out during the day (so they'd get some of the cash) and I was grateful...18-month-olds that can walk are quite a handful...

"Now, if anything happens," the man told me as they were leaving that morning, "my handgun's in the drawer by the bed." -He said this as if I would know what to do with it...and so seriously that I suddenly wondered if I needed to worry. Was there something they weren't telling me??

Well, night was falling. I created a pin out of furniture for baby number one and took the granddaughter up to her crib first. Settling her in (quickly...can't leave unsupervised babies...) I hurried back down the stairs, past the bedroom with the gun, past the front door, through the first living room, into the second living room where I had left baby number two. She was a bit distraught and I had to comfort her as I carried her up the second set of stairs to her crib. When she finally settled down I had to go back down the stairs, through the two living rooms, past the front door, past the room with the gun, and up the original set of stairs to check on baby number one- the granddaughter. She had settled down and content, I made my way past the room with the gun to living room number one where I settled into a huge sofa with a book.

The room had floor to ceiling windows that were about 20 feet tall (it was the reason the whole upstairs had to be split into two) and these windows did NOT have curtains. I was deep into my book when I suddenly heard a loud noise- as if someone had thrown a pebble at the glass window. It being perfectly dark outside, I couldn't see a thing. I froze and tried to act normal as I pretended to keep reading. The noise happened again- twice this time.

Ok. It was time to start thinking about my options.

A) No cell phone- would have to get to the kitchen for the home phone...where'd they put that paper with their number? Did one of the babies eat it??
B) I don't remember the new home phone so I can't call Dad.
C) Ok...which baby would I save first? The granddaughter, I guess. Plus she's closer to the room with the gun.
D) The gun! It can't be that hard to use a gun, right? Just point and shoot. But I don't want to shoot anybody!!
E) Was this why he sounded so serious...they left me to deal with the problem??**

(And here I was interrupted by more of the clanking noise against the window.)

Ok it was time for action. I acted as casual as a frightened teen can and slipped out of the living room to the front door (out of sight of the window). Peering through the peephole I saw nothing and no one. Creeping into the room with the gun I opened the drawer and looked at it. Praying I decided against the gun and shut the drawer again- physically shaking at this point. I couldn't find the phone.

And here I did something stupid. I opened the front door and stuck my head outside and found myself confronting a pair of yellow eyes.

The creature switched it's tail at me before pushing past me into the house. I felt my heart re-start and actually found myself grateful for the cat's company. Somehow it had gotten shut outside during the day. But it wasn't the cause of the noise against the window. Looking again I spotted the culprit. A large grasshopper, hypnotized by the landscaping light on the window was jumping into the glass window...over and over again.

So happy I could have cried, I laughed and shut and bolted the door turning to look at the cat. It's purr was the most welcome sound on earth.

I am not afraid of guns now, but I used to be. It was a shock to be told I had access to a gun and to use it if necessary. I've never come across that type of situation again. Anyone else have a similar experience?


*I had no idea my coworker was taking a video- we thought he was just taking pictures! I've been teasingly warned that it might make the next video for the seminary...I really hope not.

**Hey...sometimes my imagination can get carried away, ok?? This is why I DON'T watch scary movies...