Do you like my new blog design? It's highly simplistic and is most likely temporary- consider it seasonal if you will.
I've been wanting to update my blog since summer started, but my new job has kept me busy. Now that it is waning down (for 2 days maybe...before all the end of the year financial receipts begin!) I thought I'd steal this quick moment and re-design my blog. So, please tell me: does it look ok?
I've added a Pinterest button to my account! I wanted to share what sparks my imagination, but I'm trying to be uber-picky and not flood the pinboards. To date, I have only 85 pins. I think that's a modest number, considering I've been a member for several months.
Also, I've linked my top 10 blogs to the left! :) Of course, that's submitting competition...why should I give you another amazing blogger to follow? I already follow about 50-60 blogs myself. Sporadically, I confess- there's not enough time to read everybody's amazing posts!
I have a love-hate relationship with my Google Reader right now: LOVE- that I can read so many posts by simply scrolling down, HATE that I get lazy and don't visit each blog to see their beautiful styles (the thing that drew me to many of them in the first place.)
I think I'll go catch up on some more blogs now. Only...454 unread posts left on my reader...(it was 791 on Monday!)
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Bubbles to Kodiak
My Mom grew up in Brazil with all these amazing pets: parrots, monkeys, dogs, cats, chickens, an ocelot, even a sloth!, but for some reason she didn't appreciate them.
My Dad grew up in Mississippi and Arkansas on farms and in small towns. He had dogs, cats, a raccoon, a rabbit (this is up for debate), and even a fawn!
So, what was your first pet, Hannah? A goldfish named Bubbles. You know what? I found out a couple weeks ago that they didn't even buy Bubbles...he was a giveaway from another military family that moved away. Somehow my Dad talked my Mom into keeping it.
I remember Bubbles. I was about 3 years old and I liked watching that fish. I got to help feed him. Once, I decided to do it on my own and fed him a special breakfast- so he'd grow up to be big and strong like my Daddy. I poured a whole box of Wheaties cereal into that bowl... Somehow, my Dad saved Bubbles (who could barely wiggle in all those flakes)!
When I was 7, my Dad told me that I could get a fish if I followed a careful regime of chores, homework, and going to bed on time. I did it and we headed to the pet store. I chose a beautiful calico fish (I now know it was a Koi- one of those giant pond fish). This Koi was small, and we placed it in the fish bowl that had belonged to Bubbles (4 years and two moves ago).* I named it Penny.
Again, I earned another fish and we went back to the store, this time I picked a betta. Did we put it in the same bowl with poor Penny? Yes we did. Penny sat at the bottom of the bowl, right in the middle, and rarely ever moved. Jewel, my teal-colored betta danced and waltzed around her for the rest of her short life. I think she lasted a couple of months.**
After that, I became obsessed with the idea of a tank with more than just one fish. I'd visit friends who'd have them and envy them their tiny boxes of water-worlds. I checked out every book in the library that had anything to do with fish tanks, just to see the pictures -this is pre-Google image searches.
My first ever research paper? About fish tanks and their maintenance.
On my 11th birthday I had a present that was shaped like one of those 5 gal cylinder fish tanks. It was wrapped in newspaper. I couldn't focus on my schoolwork that day, all I could think about was that present. Finally, that night I tore into it...it wasn't a fish tank. It was a sleeping bag- you know, that thing on every young girl's birthday wish list? sigh.
I got my first official tank at age 18. Some people I used to babysit for decided they didn't want it anymore (they were going to get a dog), and gave it to my family. My parents wouldn't let me set it up at home, but I had a plan. I got a job at a tiny dry cleaners outlet. I worked there a few hours every weekday and all day Saturday...they let me set it up to decorate the shop. Every Saturday I'd clean it. I was thrilled! I got the other manager involved- we went to the pet shop together and chose the fish- this time I had years of research and knew just what we should get. :) When I left the job, the manager bought her own tank and kept the fish.
My neighbor, a fish hobbyist had over 160 tanks! When I would come home during the summer I'd work for him, cleaning the tanks, watching the house and plants when they'd go on kayaking trips, and carefully separating tiny babies from the parents who might eat them. Have you ever seen an angel fish smaller than a dime? Or a killifish freshly hatched- so small you almost need a magnifying glass to see it? It's a miraculous thing- and very cute!
Lately, I have only been keeping bettas. One or two...sometimes none.
I had two this summer. Bombay and Herman. About 3 weeks ago, Herman died and so I went to the pet store the next day to replace him...and left with 3 bettas and a new 2.5 gal betta desk tank. Indecision is just tough, isn't it?
That day got harder when I noticed that the divider in the betta tank allowed my bettas to lock jaws...and even their beautiful fins would slip through so that the other could rip at them. This was bad! On my lunch break I went back to the store for some sort of short-term solution...and ended up buying another tank...which meant I needed fish for the 2.5 gal...so I bought two tiny angels and a pleco.
Problem solved? No. The angels were miserable- they're just so delicate! So I had to go back and get gouramis...they're my favorite fish anyway.
Now we were settled. Bombay and Kodiak (a stunning white/clear betta) stayed home, and Yul*** and Tide were at the office. All went well the first weekend.
However, on the 2nd weekend, I was horrified to find both of my bettas on the same side of the tank...and they looked dead. I was upset. My boss and coworker held a sudden meeting in my office that afternoon and commented on the "corpses" and how at least they were now "swimming with the fishes..." It's funny now...
Later in the day, Yul mysteriously came to life, but Tide was gone. Furious with Yul, I re-named him Killer. He was only $4...Tide had been $14! I took Tide's body to the pet store and explained how the one betta had somehow jumped the divider. The employees were shocked but thankfully believed me. They returned my money and asked if I wanted a new one.
No. No I did not. Killer wasn't going to get another shot at a new, helpless betta! Besides, I was leaving town in two days...I'd replace him after Thanksgiving...maybe...
Killer was dead when we returned from our Thanksgiving trip, and Bombay who has been looking sickly for the last couple of weeks died this afternoon.
I'm down to just Kodiak and the tank with my gouramis. Good thing the betta shipment arrives at the pet store in the morning!
*For those of you who are fish fanatics, I'm sorry! My Dad didn't know it was inhumane to stuff a koi in a fishbowl.
** I claim exemption from judgement here- especially since I was 7. I didn't know bettas liked to be alone! Obviously, my Dad didn't ask the pet store employees...
***Named for Yul Brennar- we watched The King And I that evening...inspiration, how randomly you come to me...
My Dad grew up in Mississippi and Arkansas on farms and in small towns. He had dogs, cats, a raccoon, a rabbit (this is up for debate), and even a fawn!
So, what was your first pet, Hannah? A goldfish named Bubbles. You know what? I found out a couple weeks ago that they didn't even buy Bubbles...he was a giveaway from another military family that moved away. Somehow my Dad talked my Mom into keeping it.
I remember Bubbles. I was about 3 years old and I liked watching that fish. I got to help feed him. Once, I decided to do it on my own and fed him a special breakfast- so he'd grow up to be big and strong like my Daddy. I poured a whole box of Wheaties cereal into that bowl... Somehow, my Dad saved Bubbles (who could barely wiggle in all those flakes)!
When I was 7, my Dad told me that I could get a fish if I followed a careful regime of chores, homework, and going to bed on time. I did it and we headed to the pet store. I chose a beautiful calico fish (I now know it was a Koi- one of those giant pond fish). This Koi was small, and we placed it in the fish bowl that had belonged to Bubbles (4 years and two moves ago).* I named it Penny.
Again, I earned another fish and we went back to the store, this time I picked a betta. Did we put it in the same bowl with poor Penny? Yes we did. Penny sat at the bottom of the bowl, right in the middle, and rarely ever moved. Jewel, my teal-colored betta danced and waltzed around her for the rest of her short life. I think she lasted a couple of months.**
After that, I became obsessed with the idea of a tank with more than just one fish. I'd visit friends who'd have them and envy them their tiny boxes of water-worlds. I checked out every book in the library that had anything to do with fish tanks, just to see the pictures -this is pre-Google image searches.
My first ever research paper? About fish tanks and their maintenance.
On my 11th birthday I had a present that was shaped like one of those 5 gal cylinder fish tanks. It was wrapped in newspaper. I couldn't focus on my schoolwork that day, all I could think about was that present. Finally, that night I tore into it...it wasn't a fish tank. It was a sleeping bag- you know, that thing on every young girl's birthday wish list? sigh.
I got my first official tank at age 18. Some people I used to babysit for decided they didn't want it anymore (they were going to get a dog), and gave it to my family. My parents wouldn't let me set it up at home, but I had a plan. I got a job at a tiny dry cleaners outlet. I worked there a few hours every weekday and all day Saturday...they let me set it up to decorate the shop. Every Saturday I'd clean it. I was thrilled! I got the other manager involved- we went to the pet shop together and chose the fish- this time I had years of research and knew just what we should get. :) When I left the job, the manager bought her own tank and kept the fish.
My neighbor, a fish hobbyist had over 160 tanks! When I would come home during the summer I'd work for him, cleaning the tanks, watching the house and plants when they'd go on kayaking trips, and carefully separating tiny babies from the parents who might eat them. Have you ever seen an angel fish smaller than a dime? Or a killifish freshly hatched- so small you almost need a magnifying glass to see it? It's a miraculous thing- and very cute!
Lately, I have only been keeping bettas. One or two...sometimes none.
I had two this summer. Bombay and Herman. About 3 weeks ago, Herman died and so I went to the pet store the next day to replace him...and left with 3 bettas and a new 2.5 gal betta desk tank. Indecision is just tough, isn't it?
That day got harder when I noticed that the divider in the betta tank allowed my bettas to lock jaws...and even their beautiful fins would slip through so that the other could rip at them. This was bad! On my lunch break I went back to the store for some sort of short-term solution...and ended up buying another tank...which meant I needed fish for the 2.5 gal...so I bought two tiny angels and a pleco.
Problem solved? No. The angels were miserable- they're just so delicate! So I had to go back and get gouramis...they're my favorite fish anyway.
Now we were settled. Bombay and Kodiak (a stunning white/clear betta) stayed home, and Yul*** and Tide were at the office. All went well the first weekend.
However, on the 2nd weekend, I was horrified to find both of my bettas on the same side of the tank...and they looked dead. I was upset. My boss and coworker held a sudden meeting in my office that afternoon and commented on the "corpses" and how at least they were now "swimming with the fishes..." It's funny now...
Later in the day, Yul mysteriously came to life, but Tide was gone. Furious with Yul, I re-named him Killer. He was only $4...Tide had been $14! I took Tide's body to the pet store and explained how the one betta had somehow jumped the divider. The employees were shocked but thankfully believed me. They returned my money and asked if I wanted a new one.
No. No I did not. Killer wasn't going to get another shot at a new, helpless betta! Besides, I was leaving town in two days...I'd replace him after Thanksgiving...maybe...
Killer was dead when we returned from our Thanksgiving trip, and Bombay who has been looking sickly for the last couple of weeks died this afternoon.
I'm down to just Kodiak and the tank with my gouramis. Good thing the betta shipment arrives at the pet store in the morning!
*For those of you who are fish fanatics, I'm sorry! My Dad didn't know it was inhumane to stuff a koi in a fishbowl.
** I claim exemption from judgement here- especially since I was 7. I didn't know bettas liked to be alone! Obviously, my Dad didn't ask the pet store employees...
***Named for Yul Brennar- we watched The King And I that evening...inspiration, how randomly you come to me...
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Heart-Throb!
It was very rainy this morning. I listened to the beautiful sound, reset my alarm clock for another hour and went back to sleep.
A few hours later I was at the office going through e-mails and getting ready to deliver some packages and pick up the mail. I had a lunch date with my sister, Abby, at noon and when I saw a missed call from her around 11am I sighed. I hoped she wasn't canceling, because I was looking forward to trying out the Italian restaurant and the rare opportunity of lunch with her on a weekday.
Picking up my cell I called her back. "Hey, you called?"
"Oh good! Yes. We are almost here at Memorial Hermann." Abby has two modes during stressful times, 1) Panic, most common 2) over-the-top calm. She had on the fake calm voice- I knew she was trying to prepare me for something. That's the kind of voice she used a few years ago when we were told our dog was dying...thankfully the vet was wrong that time. :)
Wondering what she was talking about and who could be at the hospital I prodded her. "Why are you at the hospital? What's going on?"
"Well, Mom has been checked into the hospital..." her voice faded out as my mind kicked into gear.
Mom and Sally were supposed to have gone to the community college to register for courses at 8am. This meant that maybe something had happened- a car wreck?
"What happened?" I asked, unsure if she had said or not.
"Well, Mom is having heart pain and the doctors have been doing blood-work. They've got her hooked up to an EKG and in a room..." again I missed what she was saying.
"We're here, I'll let you know what room she's in in a minute, ok?" Abby's calm adult voice irritated me. I didn't want to be an adult today. I feel like we're playing pretend when we act like adults, if that makes any sense. Perhaps because I spent my whole life once she was born playing house, mermaids, sharks, foxes, safari hunters, Steve Irwin, etc, etc, etc. We had very active imaginations. :)
My boss had walked into my office and sat in my spare chair as I wrapped up my conversation with Abby. Once I hung up I blurted: "My Mom's in the hospital I need to go, is there anything you need me to do before I leave?" "Um, no." he said. "No, I don't need anything." "Ok" I said.
I looked at the packages that needed to be delivered and thought about the mail that needed to be picked up. As I type this, I realize that I forgot to give the ladies my mail key...drat! Bonnie was able to take care of the high priority tasks for me and so I ducked out of the office and drove the 5 minute drive to the hospital- probably the closest I'll ever be to a hospital during an emergency. Thank you, God, for the short drive!
I got lost in the hospital and eventually reached my Dad by phone- he gave me the room number and told me to ask the front desk where the right elevators were. I did and eventually appeared on the 3rd floor where my sister found me and took me to the room. Mom looked exhausted but otherwise well. She was in a hospital bed and I had that feeling that it wasn't real. It couldn't be. My Mom, in the hospital?
It was a long day. Longest for my Mom.
Around 3:30pm I left the hospital with my youngest sister to pick up some stuff from the office that I needed before Thanksgiving. We were able to thank the ladies in the office for their help and prayers and then rushed home. At 4:30pm my Mom finally walked in the door. She'd been in the hospital since about 3am- 13 hours.
I know what you're thinking: "How did you not know your Mom was in the hospital for 8 hours?!"
It does sound bad.
Well, all of that and the rest of the story are explained my my e-mail to my co-workers, posted here:
Dear Grace Team,
Thank you for your patience with me as I disappeared this morning. I cannot tell you enough how humbly grateful I am to get to work with you all! It is such a blessing to me!
My Mom spent 13 hours in the hospital so they could monitor her heart and blood pressure. She's had a swollen foot since March and because of that, a pain management doctor has been trying different meds to see which one will take away the swelling, etc. They still don't know what's wrong with her foot.
One of her meds ran out 12 days ago and the doctor hasn't been available to answer his phone or anything. At 3am she was unable to sleep because of sharp chest pain and woke up my Dad to let him know she'd be heading to the ER. My poor Dad was so out of it that after asking if she needed him to take her and her refusal, he dropped back to sleep. He slept in today and around 8am headed out the door. Abby and I thought he was headed to work- he didn't tell us what was happening. Mom and Sally were supposed to be gone by 7:30am to register Sally for Spring classes at Lonestar and since that car was also missing (and we didn't see Sally- who slept in) we assumed all was well.
At 10am my Dad came home and got Abby and Sally because things looked serious and she was checked into a room. They were planning much more blood-work and tests. Her blood pressure levels were very bad 3 different times during the day. They called me around 10:50 and within 10 minutes I had given Bonnie and Tameka the high priority tasks and run out the door. We spent most of the afternoon waiting on a doctor. Apparently the one who was supposed to be there didn't let his back-up know that he wouldn't be able to make it and so we heard "just a few more minutes" for hours. My poor Mom had been not allowed to even drink water in all this time because they were waiting to run the tests so at 2pm I went and asked what the news was. The nurse told me she'd try to reach the doctor again and would know everything "in a few minutes". I knew it wasn't her fault so I went back to the room. At 3pm I went back again, she called and then told me she'd call them back in 10 minutes. By this time I was ready to have her hand me that phone, my Mom was uncomfortable and where was the doctor? I went quietly back to the room though. Amazingly, 10 minutes later the nurse came into the room with a shocked look on her face: "I told them that I needed the doctor's cell phone number immediately and they gave it to me!" She sounded shocked and pleased and told us the doctor would be in soon. 15 minutes later he was there- extremely apologetic since he didn't know that he was supposed to be in. He went through the charts and, on my Mom's begging to be allowed to head to Arkansas for Thanksgiving tomorrow, he agreed that she could- if she took the new meds he prescribed her. Hooray for quiet persistence and prayers!
She came home around 4:30pm and crashed. Now she's up packing and we're taking turns babysitting her and begging her to take it easy- it's not my turn so I'm typing this.
Her funny moment of the day: Before my Dad got back with my sisters, my Mom grew impatient and decided she'd get up and ask the nurses in the hall if they knew when the doctor would be in. The nurses told her soon and slapped a neon yellow "Fall Risk" bracelet on her arm before steering her back to the hospital bed. After getting over the frustration my Mom cracked up and acted sarcastically proud of the thing when we arrived. :)
We're headed up tomorrow to Arkansas and coming back Saturday. Please pray that we'll travel safely and God will protect us!
Thank you again for all of your graciousness and empathy today. I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and will see you all on Monday!
Sincerely,
Hannah
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! :)
A few hours later I was at the office going through e-mails and getting ready to deliver some packages and pick up the mail. I had a lunch date with my sister, Abby, at noon and when I saw a missed call from her around 11am I sighed. I hoped she wasn't canceling, because I was looking forward to trying out the Italian restaurant and the rare opportunity of lunch with her on a weekday.
Picking up my cell I called her back. "Hey, you called?"
"Oh good! Yes. We are almost here at Memorial Hermann." Abby has two modes during stressful times, 1) Panic, most common 2) over-the-top calm. She had on the fake calm voice- I knew she was trying to prepare me for something. That's the kind of voice she used a few years ago when we were told our dog was dying...thankfully the vet was wrong that time. :)
Wondering what she was talking about and who could be at the hospital I prodded her. "Why are you at the hospital? What's going on?"
"Well, Mom has been checked into the hospital..." her voice faded out as my mind kicked into gear.
Mom and Sally were supposed to have gone to the community college to register for courses at 8am. This meant that maybe something had happened- a car wreck?
"What happened?" I asked, unsure if she had said or not.
"Well, Mom is having heart pain and the doctors have been doing blood-work. They've got her hooked up to an EKG and in a room..." again I missed what she was saying.
"We're here, I'll let you know what room she's in in a minute, ok?" Abby's calm adult voice irritated me. I didn't want to be an adult today. I feel like we're playing pretend when we act like adults, if that makes any sense. Perhaps because I spent my whole life once she was born playing house, mermaids, sharks, foxes, safari hunters, Steve Irwin, etc, etc, etc. We had very active imaginations. :)
My boss had walked into my office and sat in my spare chair as I wrapped up my conversation with Abby. Once I hung up I blurted: "My Mom's in the hospital I need to go, is there anything you need me to do before I leave?" "Um, no." he said. "No, I don't need anything." "Ok" I said.
I looked at the packages that needed to be delivered and thought about the mail that needed to be picked up. As I type this, I realize that I forgot to give the ladies my mail key...drat! Bonnie was able to take care of the high priority tasks for me and so I ducked out of the office and drove the 5 minute drive to the hospital- probably the closest I'll ever be to a hospital during an emergency. Thank you, God, for the short drive!
I got lost in the hospital and eventually reached my Dad by phone- he gave me the room number and told me to ask the front desk where the right elevators were. I did and eventually appeared on the 3rd floor where my sister found me and took me to the room. Mom looked exhausted but otherwise well. She was in a hospital bed and I had that feeling that it wasn't real. It couldn't be. My Mom, in the hospital?
It was a long day. Longest for my Mom.
Around 3:30pm I left the hospital with my youngest sister to pick up some stuff from the office that I needed before Thanksgiving. We were able to thank the ladies in the office for their help and prayers and then rushed home. At 4:30pm my Mom finally walked in the door. She'd been in the hospital since about 3am- 13 hours.
I know what you're thinking: "How did you not know your Mom was in the hospital for 8 hours?!"
It does sound bad.
Well, all of that and the rest of the story are explained my my e-mail to my co-workers, posted here:
Dear Grace Team,
Thank you for your patience with me as I disappeared this morning. I cannot tell you enough how humbly grateful I am to get to work with you all! It is such a blessing to me!
My Mom spent 13 hours in the hospital so they could monitor her heart and blood pressure. She's had a swollen foot since March and because of that, a pain management doctor has been trying different meds to see which one will take away the swelling, etc. They still don't know what's wrong with her foot.
One of her meds ran out 12 days ago and the doctor hasn't been available to answer his phone or anything. At 3am she was unable to sleep because of sharp chest pain and woke up my Dad to let him know she'd be heading to the ER. My poor Dad was so out of it that after asking if she needed him to take her and her refusal, he dropped back to sleep. He slept in today and around 8am headed out the door. Abby and I thought he was headed to work- he didn't tell us what was happening. Mom and Sally were supposed to be gone by 7:30am to register Sally for Spring classes at Lonestar and since that car was also missing (and we didn't see Sally- who slept in) we assumed all was well.
At 10am my Dad came home and got Abby and Sally because things looked serious and she was checked into a room. They were planning much more blood-work and tests. Her blood pressure levels were very bad 3 different times during the day. They called me around 10:50 and within 10 minutes I had given Bonnie and Tameka the high priority tasks and run out the door. We spent most of the afternoon waiting on a doctor. Apparently the one who was supposed to be there didn't let his back-up know that he wouldn't be able to make it and so we heard "just a few more minutes" for hours. My poor Mom had been not allowed to even drink water in all this time because they were waiting to run the tests so at 2pm I went and asked what the news was. The nurse told me she'd try to reach the doctor again and would know everything "in a few minutes". I knew it wasn't her fault so I went back to the room. At 3pm I went back again, she called and then told me she'd call them back in 10 minutes. By this time I was ready to have her hand me that phone, my Mom was uncomfortable and where was the doctor? I went quietly back to the room though. Amazingly, 10 minutes later the nurse came into the room with a shocked look on her face: "I told them that I needed the doctor's cell phone number immediately and they gave it to me!" She sounded shocked and pleased and told us the doctor would be in soon. 15 minutes later he was there- extremely apologetic since he didn't know that he was supposed to be in. He went through the charts and, on my Mom's begging to be allowed to head to Arkansas for Thanksgiving tomorrow, he agreed that she could- if she took the new meds he prescribed her. Hooray for quiet persistence and prayers!
She came home around 4:30pm and crashed. Now she's up packing and we're taking turns babysitting her and begging her to take it easy- it's not my turn so I'm typing this.
Her funny moment of the day: Before my Dad got back with my sisters, my Mom grew impatient and decided she'd get up and ask the nurses in the hall if they knew when the doctor would be in. The nurses told her soon and slapped a neon yellow "Fall Risk" bracelet on her arm before steering her back to the hospital bed. After getting over the frustration my Mom cracked up and acted sarcastically proud of the thing when we arrived. :)
We're headed up tomorrow to Arkansas and coming back Saturday. Please pray that we'll travel safely and God will protect us!
Thank you again for all of your graciousness and empathy today. I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and will see you all on Monday!
Sincerely,
Hannah
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! :)
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Early Thanks
I know that it's not Thanksgiving yet...but with everybody already decorating for Christmas and the lack of time I may have later perhaps you'll indulge me...:)
Today I am grateful for so many things:
1) The GSOT Fundraising Banquet went well and I had my CityLife Team and most of my family there for moral support (even though I barely got to say anything to them and never was able to eat the salad...another story, another day...)
2) My sweet friend, Casey Bell. She and I were up until 2am baking, doing Bible study, and watching an old Esther Williams movie while knitting.*
3) My CityLife Team...we have spent the last 7 months sporadically exploring Houston, studying what life is supposed to look like after college, doing Bible study, paintball, kayaking, black & white movies in the park, etc. I love them.
4) My job. I visited both of the nurseries (garden centers) downtown today after my CityLife meeting where I spent my first year after college. I have to admit, I was missing some of the aspects of that job: being outdoors all day, talking with different people all the time, doing light garden design...and of course my coworkers and bosses. I spent an hour at each place visiting, listening, getting hugged to death, and came close to tears. However, the gossip they wanted to share poured forth and I remembered that I LOVE working at the seminary and avoiding all of that. It was a good reminder for me to be especially thankful for where God has placed me.
* I'm a terrible knitter...and actually I'm crocheting a scarf right now which may be done by the time I have gray hair...though I think the color would clash with gray hair...
Today I am grateful for so many things:
1) The GSOT Fundraising Banquet went well and I had my CityLife Team and most of my family there for moral support (even though I barely got to say anything to them and never was able to eat the salad...another story, another day...)
2) My sweet friend, Casey Bell. She and I were up until 2am baking, doing Bible study, and watching an old Esther Williams movie while knitting.*
3) My CityLife Team...we have spent the last 7 months sporadically exploring Houston, studying what life is supposed to look like after college, doing Bible study, paintball, kayaking, black & white movies in the park, etc. I love them.
4) My job. I visited both of the nurseries (garden centers) downtown today after my CityLife meeting where I spent my first year after college. I have to admit, I was missing some of the aspects of that job: being outdoors all day, talking with different people all the time, doing light garden design...and of course my coworkers and bosses. I spent an hour at each place visiting, listening, getting hugged to death, and came close to tears. However, the gossip they wanted to share poured forth and I remembered that I LOVE working at the seminary and avoiding all of that. It was a good reminder for me to be especially thankful for where God has placed me.
* I'm a terrible knitter...and actually I'm crocheting a scarf right now which may be done by the time I have gray hair...though I think the color would clash with gray hair...
Monday, October 24, 2011
Getting Back in the Game of Life
I stared at the tiny pink game piece: a little woman from the game of Life. How had it gotten here on the floor of my room?
My thoughts were distracted. I was feeling sad and lonely. Stupid facebook showed so many of my friends enjoying themselves...it only served to rub-in the loneliness I was feeling. I felt unneeded and unwanted. Life after college was completely different from what I had expected. I wanted friends...friends to pursue me. To choose me. To send the first text message, e-mail, post on facebook, or make the first phone call.
Some of this loneliness can be applied to the fact that I don't have a church family at the moment. I don't feel like I fit in at my parent's church and while I have tried some new churches, it's nerve-racking to venture into a new building where I know no one. But you know, it is when I reach these moments of utter despair that God reminds me, He's there.
Sometimes, for the greater good, He allows people to forget that I exist in order to leave me no options but Himself.
Does this work? Not always right away. Sometimes I ignore Him with a frustrated sigh. There are other times when I feel like I've been smacked with the "Obvious" stick and apologize to Him, remind myself of my life's purpose and move on.
The tiny woman from the game of Life reminded me of myself. Detached from the reality of Life...alone, forgotten. How did she get on my floor? How did I get where I am? Why can't I be the "perfect Christian" that I want to be? Jesus never promised easy street, that's for sure. It has been recommended to me that I create a "life statement" or "goal" about why I'm here and what I should be focused on each day. Here goes: (this is subject to editing as I continue to grow in Christ)
'I, Hannah, a dim reflection of Christ, do solemnly swear to love those that God places in my life through: excellent work, pursuing friendships, engaging in ministry opportunities and investing in a deep love-relationship with my Savior on a daily, hourly, even minutely basis. All of this so that I may be ready in season and out to share with others the wonderful news of Christ and His great passion for every single person.'
Still needs some work, but I'll start there. I probably should go place that little pink woman back in the box of Life so she too can continue to fulfill her purpose...
Some of this loneliness can be applied to the fact that I don't have a church family at the moment. I don't feel like I fit in at my parent's church and while I have tried some new churches, it's nerve-racking to venture into a new building where I know no one. But you know, it is when I reach these moments of utter despair that God reminds me, He's there.
Sometimes, for the greater good, He allows people to forget that I exist in order to leave me no options but Himself.
Does this work? Not always right away. Sometimes I ignore Him with a frustrated sigh. There are other times when I feel like I've been smacked with the "Obvious" stick and apologize to Him, remind myself of my life's purpose and move on.
The tiny woman from the game of Life reminded me of myself. Detached from the reality of Life...alone, forgotten. How did she get on my floor? How did I get where I am? Why can't I be the "perfect Christian" that I want to be? Jesus never promised easy street, that's for sure. It has been recommended to me that I create a "life statement" or "goal" about why I'm here and what I should be focused on each day. Here goes: (this is subject to editing as I continue to grow in Christ)
'I, Hannah, a dim reflection of Christ, do solemnly swear to love those that God places in my life through: excellent work, pursuing friendships, engaging in ministry opportunities and investing in a deep love-relationship with my Savior on a daily, hourly, even minutely basis. All of this so that I may be ready in season and out to share with others the wonderful news of Christ and His great passion for every single person.'
Still needs some work, but I'll start there. I probably should go place that little pink woman back in the box of Life so she too can continue to fulfill her purpose...
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