Funeral Crashing and the Southern Tongue

First of all, let me state that the Southern accent is beautiful. Of all the accents I know, it is the most endearing because of it’s relaxed tones. It is so relaxed, that single vowels become plural. For instance: an i can be drawn out into an ea, and e can be turned into an ei, and so on. When they shorten two words…the abbreviation takes as long to pronounce as the original: you all becomes y’all. No time is saved and teasing is justified. I know having been teased about using that word after spending three years in Mississippi. When we settled in Texas eight years ago, I found that no one minded if you used “y’all” during conversation, and I’m afraid it will always be a part of my vocabulary.

Now after that background, I do want you to know that the Southern drawl can be a problem. I attended the funeral of one of my friends’ husband yesterday and it didn’t occur to me to find out what his name was before going. I had never met him, having only worked with this dear lady six months. As I pulled into the funeral home I was met by a black-suited elderly gentleman. Upon opening my window I was greeted with a watery smile and: “Are you here for the meals or ceremony?”

What? I know that occasionally people serve meals at funerals having just attended my Granny’s not three weeks before this, so I wasn’t too confused. With fast thinking I replied: “Oh no, I’m just here for the ceremony.”

The man gave me a blank, confused look and repeated himself: ‘No, are you here for the meals ceremony?”
Ok. What is a meals ceremony? My face now mirrored his confusion, so figuring he must not have his hearing aid adjusted he increased volume: “The ceremony for Meals, Edward C. Meals!”

Oh! Not food... Now another problem. I have NO idea what the man’s name was, because my coworker kept her old last name…I have no time to think!

Deciding to just find out by walking in, I replied that I was. After another brief conversation about whether or not I would be joining them at the grave-site or just attending the ceremony (I chose the latter), I was finally directed to park. (There was a small line behind me due to the confusion.)

When I walked into the building I knew 3 minutes of panic until I spotted four of my coworkers. How awful it would have been to have shown up at someone else’s funeral! What would I have done?
When I finally had a chance to look at the man’s name, it was NOT Meals, but Mills! Oh the Southern tongue!  I am sure the poor gentleman directing traffic that afternoon probably wonders if I was a funeral crasher, for he came in after I had hugged my darling Miss Blanche and I was sitting in one of the back pews. But who ever heard of a funeral crasher?

Lead Feet and Smiles

Somedays life just couldn't get any better!- That was yesterday...

Today was one of the hardest days I've had at work in awhile. Part of me just wanted to curl up in a corner and sob. Why? Because I experienced a VERY angry woman. That experience stung me to my core. I realized today that I will never be appreciated the way I would like to be. Only One can keep me from drowning myself in self-pity and doubts. Only One is and always has been there for me. Others may try, it may seem like most don't care, but even if someone were to devote themselves to encouraging you, they would eventually fail you.

I was not a good witness at work today. I let that one angry woman sap the joy that Christ has given me. She didn't take it, I just stifled out Christ's voice with my desire to both retaliate and run away in tears. I did neither, but my attitude was morose. Pretty much a pity party, I would say. My feet felt like lead and my smile disappeared. All this happened within my first ten minutes and the whole rest of the day I dwelt on it. I called my mom during my lunchbreak to vent. I let my mind stray to it continually, in fact, you could say I MEDITATED on that one event ALL day.

It took the drive home to snap me out of it! I wish that I had spent time with God this morning instead of waiting to talk to Him until the drive home. His words and perspective caught me and held me. You know, so many people experience SO much pain on a daily basis...and I don't really ever remember that. Until you actually walk in a person's shoes, you cannot empathize enough. Who knows what drove her to act that way? Maybe the bills are late, her spouse is sick, a parent is dying, you never know...

I have spent many years in customer service positions and have been treated about every way imaginable. Short of physical abuse, (unless you count random sparks of saliva from a raging person...) I've been there. Therefore, after suffering the trauma and strain of serving cruel and wacky customers, I work VERY hard NEVER to be one.

I suppose today was a chance for me to learn about focusing more on the person. To really look beyond the facade of "I'm fine" or the abrubtness. I learned my lesson...I just hope I don't have to re-learn it again, but knowing me...:)

The $100,000 Return

I currently work in retail with a large plant nursery. I find that boredom is rarely found in this business. This is one of my favorite stories so far.

It was late summer.
The other Supervisor and I were getting to run the store by ourselves (a weekly occurrence) and had finally found 5 minutes to try to discuss where we were going to put the newly arrived plants (all 5000 of them!) We had had several attempts at this for an hour and were just beginning to discuss which tables to tear down, build, what to move, all that fun stuff that managers do... When an extremely panicked voice crackled over the intercom! One of our cashiers wanted us up at the front immediately. Because she is dramatic and panics easily (often unnecessarily) I volunteered to go and see what the matter was, so that the other supervisor could stay in the back and manage the yard. Usually it's not a big deal when we get called to the front: customer wants a discount on a damaged pot, return requires a manager's pass-code, etc. However, this time something HUGE had happened.

Whenever customers need to return something, and they do not have their receipt, we have more paperwork to deal with. Not only that, but our computers get finicky. The problem with this return was: 2 cashiers worked on it and there was miscommunication and terror and panic. This resulted in me spending most of the day on the phone.

A lady only needed to return a couple of plants. It should have been quick. One cashier started the transaction. She scanned the first item and $8.99 appeared on the screen. Then she needed to press enter so that the computer would allow her to scan the next, but instead of checking the screen and doing so, she scanned the next plant. The computer read the beginning numbers of the barcode: 4077. But it didn't just read them, it added them to the original price of 8.99, which was now: $89940.77. This is when it went further downhill. If she had checked the screen, she could have noticed the problem and just voided the transaction. That did not happen. Distracted, she answered the phone.

While on the phone, she told the second cashier to just swipe the customer's card. The second cashier, assuming that the first one (who has worked here for years) knew what she was doing, hit the total button and swiped the customer's card. Only then, when the receipt printed did she notice the numbers. By then the problem could no longer be avoided and I arrived on /was vigorously hailed to the scene. That customer was not only getting money back for her plants, but also a whopping $97,000+ extra! The sweet little computer added tax to the return...over $7000 worth! The total damage: $97,360.88 (oh yes, I have that number memorized)!

Ok. So when I arrived, it took about 5 minutes for me to understand what they had done. When I did, I tried returning the return...which you can't do. After realizing that I was going to need to call a bank and headquarters and KWI (our computer system managers), I had the good sense to do the customer's real return so that that would be taken care of and we could just void the other. She was panicking...I don't know why...she had just "Won $97,000!" for a few hours...

After getting her phone number in case anything else happened, I sent her on her way. I then began my deluge of phone calls. First, headquarters: I was patched through and told: call KWI for this one. Ok, second, I called KWI: after 20 minutes of working on the register with the technician he said my two options were: charge the woman $97,360.88 back on the same card to void it, OR call the bank. Ok, since I didn't know our bank's number, I called headquarters: they agree that I should try charging the woman's card.

To charge the woman's card, I had to get ahold of her and ask for her credit card number over the phone. This was a very sticky conversation as I tried to reassure her that she wasn't going to be missing money from her bank. I tried charging her card but the computer wouldn't let me charge anybody that much. sigh* I placed my third call to headquarters: they didn't know the bank number, and told me that it should be posted somewhere in the store.

By now I've told one of those two cashiers to take my lunch break because I am obviously not going anywhere anytime soon.

I searched the office thoroughly for a phone number and am beginning to realize that I might not be able to solve this problem. My yardman questions me about what is going on and why I've run past him several times in the last hour (the office is in the back of the store, the registers are in the front, and it is NOT a tiny store.) Just as I am telling him it is "un grande problema," the General Manager rounds a group of trees. I had forgotten that he would be visiting and it hadn't occurred to me to call him and tell him what was going on. After I told him about the problem, he quickly called the president and vice president of the company and a few of the big wigs up in Dallas.



In the middle of my conversation with the GM about what had happened and who had done it, he got a phone call from his boss about our store’s sales numbers. One of the men up in Dallas saw that our sales were suddenly a negative for many thousands of dollars. He couldn’t believe his eyes and wanted my GM to tell him what was going on! (We have a marvelous online tool that allows us to see how all the other stores in our company are doing in sales. It updates every 15-30 minutes, and the competitiveness in me LOVES it! We often are first or second in sales every day.)

Anyway, after several hours and a meeting with my GM, the problem was solved and I finally got to disappear for an hour for lunch…by then it was 4pm. I was starving, but calm. I actually thought the whole process was entertaining, but only because I knew all along that we would be able to cancel that transaction. It’s only a matter of having the right phone numbers. That poor woman won’t be getting her $100,000 return. But she has the pleasure, should she choose, to share that fun story for the rest of her life! And she didn’t have to pay to be a part of a game show like thousands of people do, in fact, it’s a unique story. One I’ll always remember!

Afraid

I admit, the thought of a blog is daunting to me. My notes on facebook were so easy to write because I knew friends would read them…and only friends. I enjoyed sharing stories with them.

When I write on this blog, I have the tendency to feel more formal. As if I’m writing my resume to an important business company, I carefully weigh each word before submitting a post.

This way of thinking is going to stop! As I get into the habit of blogging, I’ll begin by posting old notes from facebook that I’d like to share with whoever takes the time to read.

For now, I’m going to enjoy this snowy day and get some housework done!

Get ready to read a different style…

Animal House

I suppose in some way, this should be related to plants, but for today I want to focus on another creation that I love: animals.

I have always been fascinated with animals. I confess my Dad helped to feed this love of mine. He would bring home cats, dogs, insects, reptiles- all simply "day" or "week" pets (cats and dogs were "hour" pets...) and I would love them! It started with a goldfish named Bubbles...I nearly killed him trying to feed him Wheaties (breakfast of champions) when I was 3.

By age 9, I was Steve Irwin. I had not heard of him yet, but we were kindred spirits. My list of pets includes: cat, dog, chicken, ducks, all manner of insects (especially many praying manti), fish, parakeet, guinea pigs, snakes, ground squirrel, bunnies, turtles, lizards and geckos, frogs and toads, crabs, and so on. Not that many...

I have also, because of this fascination and love for creatures, attempted to rescue several that were in trouble.

Most notable among these rescues, was a pair of dogs.

It was summer, and I was working in Missouri. One evening, I spotted a pair of young dogs in a parking lot. The parking lot was on the edge of the mountain highway and I felt compelled to check them out.
Not worried about rabies or anything, I got out of my truck and called them. The excited pups came dashing toward me and I could see that they were VERY thirsty. A cup of water was retrieved from the restaurant (whose parking lot we were in) and they were given a drink. I knew better than to feed them, and decided to load them into my truck.

They acted like they would leap out of my truck and onto the highway during the 15 minute drive, so I shoved them into the cab. I had a back seat in that truck.

We made the whole ride, but as I got out of the car, they puked. I managed to save my purse in time...but the maps, umbrella, my notebook and new Bible...all were trashed.

This was a bad day. Not only this, but we were unable to find a pound in the vicinity. NOT good. Well, there was nothing for it but to take them to a place away from the road, but near people. Another guy volunteered his truck and we tied the dogs into the bed of it so that they wouldn't jump. We found a great parking lot...surrounded on three sides by hotels and over 100 yards from any roads above 35 mph.
As we let the dogs out of the truck, we noticed several people watching us...so we began to act like we were letting the dogs stretch their legs. We made up names for them and called them, half-heartedly, until we lost most of the audience. Then we dove into the truck and sped away!

My truck took hours to clean, but thanks to several friends it was in working order by the following afternoon! I never saw the dogs again.

I still rescue animals...have rescued another dog and two kittens in the last year (one kitten just last night)...but I am hesitant to offer them rides. And I don't drop them off in the middle of no-where. The dog's owner picked it up the next day, one kitten had to be taken to a foster-care agency, and last night's is still waiting for her owner. She's quite the cutie!