Crashtober

 Hello Friend,

It's been awhile...14 months(!)... That's ridiculous. Let's not let that happen again, ok?

I spent most of my free time last Fall and this Spring cherishing my family and helping my parents clean up the landscaping and touch-up paint their new house before they rented it and moved to Indonesia. They've been overseas for over 6 months now and will be home for Christmas in 23 days!! But who's counting?

After they left I buckled down into work, church, etc. About 3 months ago God blessed me and my roommate with the opportunity to host a weekly coed Bible Study in our apartment and it's been AMAZING! Last month, I opened up to a woman I've known for 12 years and asked if she'd consider discipling me - turns out she'd recently begun praying about that very thing!! I'm extremely blessed to have her in my life. :)

Ok, now that I've caught you up on the important details I want to talk about my choice of title. I'd like to explain it. (I realize that I write for myself - to help me remember the details and share my stories, but I invite you to read them.)

Sept. 30 - I'm attacked by a cockroach in my car. I'm also told by my little sister about her car accident that happened in her parking lot about the same time. After coaching her and listening to my parent's responses we end on a good note. I post the following for my friends:


Step 1: Be driving on a major road - preferably one with a speed limit of 65mph.
Step 2: Notice movement INSIDE your car from the corner of your eye...
Step 3: Watch in horror as a COCKROACH runs across your radio dials, onto your dashboard and then launches itself straight at you!!
Step 4: Scream, wave your hands like a little girl and start to slam on the brakes.
Step 5: Have the presence of mind to lift your foot off the brakes before you slow too much.
Step 6: Do not find cockroach, so clutch the neck of your dress closed with one hand and hold the steering wheel in a death grip...only 11 miles til you're home.
Step 7: 6 miles down, 5 to go...arms are screaming from how tense you are, decide to rest your arm, but feel the cockroach as you do.
Step 8: Repeat steps 4-6, but you're 6 miles closer to home!
Step 9: Arrive home. Exit car and check cautiously for the roach.
Step 10: Roach is nowhere to be found. Decide never to ride in your car again.

I hope that thing is dead on the floorboard of my car in the morning...I can't believe I just now thought about coating my car in Raid...

Oct. 1 - A little leery of the cockroach reappearing, I'm pretty tense most of the way to work. My friends' comments about burning my car were unnecessary as I did something a little less drastic but equally permanent.

20 miles into my drive I'm marveling at the light traffic and catch my breath as I peer at the gorgeous sunrise! Then gasp as I glance back at the road to see red lights. (A wreck had just happened about 10-15 cars in front of me.) I'm unable to come to a complete stop without hitting the truck in front of me, there is a decided crunch/bang. We both move onto the side of the road (I'm shaking) and realize there is NO damage whatsoever to the truck. The men in the truck (all being in a hurry and possibly uninsured) decide to leave me.

I spend almost an hour waiting for the tow truck driver. Tow truck driver turns out to be a grouch* and cusses at me when I tell him that the place he's trying to take me is incorrect and I need to call my insurance. Insurance lady somehow remains calm as I hold back tears and explain that I'm less than 3 miles away from the auto shop I want to get to but the place the driver wants to take me is 30 miles away. Driver lights up a cigarette and scolds and cusses at me some more while we wait for his company to give him the go ahead to take me where I need to go. Eventually all is worked out and he takes me to the dealer about 2.5 miles away. He says some forgettable things and I spend another 20 minutes on hold with my insurance.

My boss shows up, gives me a hug, and takes me to pick up my parents' car. It is decided that my car is totaled and thus begins the journey of car-hunting.

Oct. 3 - I don't even recognize my car without the bumper and headlights. I pull everything out of it and sadly pat it goodbye. I had just bought $500 tires. :/

Oct. 12 - My sisters and I spend the weekend at our precious cousin's wedding in Tyler, TX and are en route to Houston on the 75 mph highway. It's been a little misty and there's been scattered showers, but all in all we are on track to make it in time for lunch with our friends. Suddenly the road becomes a terrifying obstacle course.

My sisters had been sitting in the backseat watching a movie and I could barely hear it so it'd been a quiet drive for me save for the parts where I enjoyed listening to my sisters laugh about the movie. I was thankfully undistracted and therefore noticed the instant the cars in front of us started swerving and crashes began to sound. It seems an impatient car had swerved into the left lane clipping the car there and sending it spinning until it stopped with the front of the car in the left lane and the rear on the shoulder.

Somehow I managed to stop the car without hitting anyone in front of or beside me, but I couldn't get off the road because the suv behind me had pushed a car into the guardrail and they wanted to get away. They had pulled up beside me but could not go any further because there was a car stopped in front of me. It didn't take long. My sisters were screaming and stopped just as I came to a complete stop. We couldn't believe that we didn't have a scratch on us. There was a moment of hope and then I looked in the rearview mirror. I watched about 3 cars hurtle past us just missing us and then I saw the black suv and semitruck. "We're going to get hit." I calmly told my sisters and Becca leaned forward. (She was the one closest to where they would impact and I'm not sure why she leaned forward, but it protected her.)

The impact was swift and loud. I don't even remember hitting the dashboard, but I had bruises from it. After that impact the highway basically shut down. I had my sisters stay in the car for a bit longer until we were certain that no other cars were coming. The doors on the right side of car wouldn't open anyway. The impact had damaged the computer system and sent pieces of our taillight flying to land on top of the car and hood.

I winced as I knew I'd need to call the insurance company again and I'd JUST talked to them 10 days ago about my own car. I had a light bit of hope that maybe the car would be driveable so we could get home, but that died after I looked at it. The EMS and police said that if the impact had been one foot further it would have killed Becca.

My sisters talked to the other drivers. The one who had prevented me from getting over and had pushed the car behind me into the guardrail had taken off. There were 9 cars actually involved and 4 of them fled the scene (along with about a dozen lucky vehicles who'd managed to get out of the way). The one who was originally clipped, my car, and the suv that hit me from behind were totaled. The semi had no damage. The car behind me that had been shoved into the guardrail also stayed, but she only had cosmetic damage to her car. She was a sweetheart to vouch for us.

As we stood there with our overnight bags and huddled under the umbrellas, it was all I could do not to collapse in tears. And I did cry. But I had sweet hugs from my little sisters and I was SO GRATEFUL that they were ok! We were given a ride to Buccee's by our tow truck driver who only drives a tow truck part-time. He works full-time as a mortician! We told him that we were grateful that we were meeting him as a tow truck driver as opposed to the other option...

My roommate drove over 1.5 hours to reach us and she promptly helped us load everything from my parents' car into hers. She'd even provided water bottles and snacks and made a pit-stop at a burger place to get us some food because by now it was nearing 2pm. Apparently the day was a bad one for Houston roads as we had to take two different back roads to get home.

Oct. 13 - I give my testimony to the insurance about what happened.

Oct. 14 - The insurance asks for my testimony again and then afterwards tells me that they believe me, but the suv and semitruck driver both have different stories. I fight back anger.

Oct. 17 - My roomie takes me to pay for my new car.

Oct. 20 - Engine light in new car comes on.

Oct. 21 - It is discovered that I will need a new catalytic convertor in the next 11 months. (Those are not cheap.)

Tomorrow - I go to pick up my Dad's new car. He'll be home to drive it in about 3 weeks!!

There's the 'short version' for you. :)



Still squeaking when cars follow too close,
Hannah


* I have known some WONDERFUL tow truck drivers. I was actually pretty happy to see the guy at first. But he seriously got up on the wrong side of the bed or something that morning...

Condemned by Blood

I waited apprehensively for the phone call to come. I just knew I was going to need a lawyer to explain to those ladies that I had not hit the bloody couple with my car- that the blood on my car was from them, but through no fault of mine! What would I say if the police called?

...............................................1 hour earlier................................................

I had decided to take a short lunch break and swing into Target to look for some shoes. After 20 minutes I was headed to my car and approaching it from the passenger side. I suddenly noticed a slight commotion and a couple of people next to the driver side door of my car. Someone was on the ground and another person was kneeling over them as a third walked toward them with a bunch of paper towels.

I slowed, curious to see what was going on and wondering if I was going to be delayed in leaving. As I rounded my car I noticed a man bending over an older woman who was sitting on the ground. The back of the man's knee was splattered with blood. I nervously asked, "Um, excuse me, is everything ok?" The man bending over the woman was startled to hear a voice less than 10 feet from behind him and turned to glance back at me. As he moved I saw the woman's face- her chin was covered in blood.

The man with the paper towels reached the hood of my car and answered for them: "She fell. Everything's ok. Is this your car?"

I had many thoughts running through my head and was trying to figure out what to do next. "Yes. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, we've got it." The man with paper towels said.

"Here, let's get the blood off your car," said the man who'd been bending over the woman. I was shocked to hear that and to see him wiping blood off my car. Noticing my look he said, "She tried to stand up using your mirror."

Suddenly it occured to me that I might be able to help. "I have a first aid kit we can use? Would that help?" I looked at the woman who looked dazed. My first concern was that she was all right.

The 'paper towel man' said, "No, we've really got this. You can go. Back up carefully though- staight back."

I felt like the little girl he was treating me. I acquiesced and climbed into my car. Using my blood-splattered mirror and my rear-view I began to back up. I had to brake for a young man who wanted to see what was going on and then again as a car stopped right behind me to gawk. Looking at them through my bloody mirror I saw the condemning looks of the two elderly ladies in the fancy car. I shrugged and tried to back up a bit to goose them into action. They glared at me and then continued on.

Once I'd backed up I paused for about 30 seconds to watch a woman and the two original men trying hard to help the bloody woman stand. She fell twice, but with the help of the fourth young man they got her on her feet. Suddenly, the same fancy car with the two old ladies who'd hindered me from backing out came flying through a break in the parked cars and whipped in front of me. The driver was on the phone and she was talking angrily while looking at my car. Confused I looked at her just in time to see her angry, accusing eyes looking back. It was then that it hit me: "They think that I hit those people with my car!!!!" I shook my head wanting to explain that I hadn't done anything. But how could I? I even had red evidence against me smeared and splattered on my car!

I had the glares of the two elderly women stuck in my mind as I drove back to the office.

I took pictures of the blood on my car and then used many clorox wipes to scrub off the blood. There was more than I'd thought there'd been. When my car was blood-free, I spent the afternoon with the light concern that I might be hearing from the police. Even though three people knew I was innocent, I was haunted by the judgemental looks of those two women! The drive home was a solid reminder that it had happened as the clorox made my sideview mirror foggy. I'm going to have to find something else to use to clean that.

I'm pretty sure now that I won't be hearing from police, but I did get a jury summons in the mail today. Second one this year...I'm questioning the 'lottery' system. Hope it isn't about a parking lot incident...

Craig's List for Dummies

"Ummm, nevermind. We don't want it!" my roomie firmly said into the phone as I circled the parking lot. I had handed her the phone since her voice sounds older than mine. I already knew I was buying something from a male via the way he wrote his text messages. Jessie and I both had our knives ready- though how and when we thought we were going to use them remains a mystery...


I had heard of Craig's List for years. I had actually roomed with a woman my friend found on Craig's List and it had not been bliss. It could have been worse, but it definitely made me shudder whenever someone mentioned how amazing Craig's List was.

We had just moved into our new apartment and I was hunting for a larger aquarium and stand- something larger than my 20 gallon and unstable tiny stand. After price-checking the local pet-stores I was ready to search for a used item- and hopefully avoid shipping charges. It would never have occurred to me to try Craig's List, save for the fact that two friends posted (at the same time one day) on Facebook about their amazing deals they'd just gotten.

"I wonder if they sell fish tanks on there?" I thought. Surely, if people buy couches and find roommates, a fish tank or two will appear. And I was right! I finally found a picture of a gorgeous tank and since the person wanted the main form of communication to be via texting- I bit my lip and sent a question: 'Does the fish tank come with all the decorations as well?'

And so began a short conversation that ended with my saying I'd be picking it up in less than a week. The seller had even sent me a few more pictures of the tank and the decorations- which helped me to know it wasn't a picture they'd found somewhere, but something they actually owned. Elated, I got my roomie, Jessie, to agree to pick it up with me on a Thursday. (The seller said he was off on Thursday and I happened to be taking that day off as well to spend time with my new roomie before she began her first job the next week.)

The day of, found Jessie and I driving across the city to pay for and collect my tank. It wasn't until we reached the Walmart parking lot (I had mentioned that I didn't want to pick it up at his house) that I began to get nervous. This was a part of town that I did not know. Right before we turned into the lot, my phone rang with the name 'Fish Guy'. Jessie answered it for me since her voice doesn't sound like a little kid's *ahem* and told the guy we were at Walmart already. He told her he was on his way and she hung up. I began to ask questions: 'Was it a guy? I knew it! How old did he sound?' I may have even asked if he sounded dangerous...

Jessie and I both carry knives, but as mine is larger I had her take it and put it within easy grabbing distance should anything go wrong. Feeling a little better knowing the knife was ready, we parked near the garden center and began to look for a red Toyota- though what kind of Toyota I wasn't sure. Then my phone rang again- Jessie answered for me. He told her that they had just found a lost dog and he and his mom were waiting for the ASPCA to come pick it up. Could we just come to their place?* Warning bells were going off in my head and Jessie and I looked at each other for a split second before I said- 'Tell him never mind!' And turning on the car I headed for the highway. Jessie told him we were going to leave and he quickly said- that he would be there in 10 minutes or less...

I reeeaaallllllyyy wanted that tank, so I parked again after making sure Jessie was still up for waiting. As if we weren't already nervous, now Jessie and I sat in my car flinching whenever a red car came within sight and trying to act calm for each other. All kinds of thoughts were running through my mind: Do I want this fish tank that badly? What if something happens to Jessie- how could I ever forgive myself for putting her in this situation? I will stab the man if I have to.

Finally a beat-up old red Toyota truck pulled next to us. Unable to see the driver I asked Jessie if she had the knife ready before opening my door. Rounding the back of his truck I found a petite, young Hispanic boy. Already feeling much better knowing I could throw him if necessary, I gave a polite smile and we introduced ourselves. He was very pleasant, polite and respectful and began to show me the stuff I was about to buy. He realized at the last minute that he'd forgotten the plants, and I knew the mistake was genuine. He asked if I'd be willing to follow him to a bank near his place and this time we had no problem with that.

We waited while he ran and got them and came back with a girl (Jessie and I couldn't figure out if she was his girlfriend or sister). Turned out he had 6 fish tanks and was downsizing a little bit to get more money for college. We made our transaction with smiles and really...it wasn't so bad. A security guard at the bank came outside and stared us down while we made the transaction which made me feel half-safe and half-criminal.. Anyway, minus the previous 20 minutes of panic and 10 minutes of dread, Craig's List turned out to be a good idea for me this time. But it's still not something I want to use often... :)

Here's a few suggestions for you if you're going to shop on Craig's List:

1) A picture is worth a thousand words and 2-3 are even better. Ask for more pictures if there's only one on CL.

2) Try to pick a public area for CL transactions. A busy parking lot, a bank with a curious security guard...etc.

3) Take a ninja someone trustworthy with you if you must pick an item up from a home or apartment.

4) Be aware of your surroundings- look at a map before you go, unless you know the area well.

5) Be polite- even if they end up being rude, at least you've got no regrets.

6) It is ok to leave without buying the item, especially if it is not what you were expecting. One friend drove 40 minutes to pick up an item, hated it, but bought it anyway and found someone to give it to- don't feel obligated to do that. The person selling it will find another buyer.

7) While a knife isn't necessary, consider mace or a taser...just in case.

8) Enjoy the hunt- there are all kinds of steals and deals on CL!

*Saying that I found a lost pet or am looking for a lost pet are ranked right up there with offering candy to little kids. It may be true, but usually it's not. This is why we don't talk to strangers. This is why Craig's List can be very dangerous- because everyone is a stranger. Always have a buddy and a plan! (And maybe a knife...)

Mother's Day- Don't Forget!

I recently moved into a beautiful apartment with a college friend of mine. She and I have been unpacking and getting to know the area a little bit. A week ago we stopped by the library and got cards (they almost gave me the child's card) and then later in the week we found a good Asian place for takeout (priorities, people). 

I've learned how to deal with the school traffic and it's remarkable the difference 5 minutes makes. Also, Mondays are the worst.

I've also realized the importance of my Mom. Like a typical mother-daughter relationship, she and I didn't always communicate well. I have realized that I love her and respect her and that she's been a great role model in my life. I have no grandmothers anymore and none of my aunts have ever lived close enough to have deep relationships with me (though I love them dearly). That leaves my Mom as one of the sole role models in my life. True, there are some great women at church and from my college days that have helped to influence some of my choices and approaches to certain issues, but in the end I mostly reflect my Mom.

Did you know that Mother's Day is coming up? It is: May 12! While running errands yesterday I noticed a beautiful pink zinnia plant- huge and covered with blooms. Observing the price I decided: why not? After all- I love to give gifts and Mother's Day is soon! This of course inspired me to pick out a few other items I knew my Mom would like and use a basket to present them in. I'm delivering it early in the morning tomorrow on my way to work and am pretty excited to be catching her off guard with a VERY early Mother's Day gift. :) Unless she's staying up late after saying goodnight and reading this now...um, surprise Mom!

But I wanted to remind you, dear reader: remember your Moms! I had two different instances yesterday and today that made me want to weep and actually did make one of the ladies cry.

Mother 1) She works as a cashier at Walmart. An older lady. I don't know her history. When she checked out the plant I was buying she exclaimed over it's beauty and I couldn't help giving her a big smile and saying: "It's for my Mom! Mother's Day is coming soon!"

She looked suddenly wistful and said: "I wish my daughter would remember me..."

I was unsure where this conversation might lead, so I offered: "It's only easy because she lives in town." 

"My daughter lives on my property," she said, "but she's married this guy who doesn't believe in family ties." She went on for a few moments while I empathized and said it was "horrible" and that I was sure her daughter still loved her.

Inspired, I reached into my cart and picked one of the blooms off the zinnia plant and handed it to her.

"Oh no! Don't! You'll ruin your mother's plant!"

I was quick to reassure her and say with a smile, "She won't mind- and I can't stick it back on. Please take it!" And she began to cry. She bit her lip and sucked in a sob while trying to finish checking me out. Y'all- I was ready to go and smack some sense into her son-in-law and daughter. If they only knew how much that woman was hurting!! I talked her into taking the flower and left her with a small smile on her face and mutual God bless you's! I wish I'd gone around the cashier stand and given her a hug- I regret that.

Mother 2) Not as depressing. Just a random conversation with a lady and Mother's Day came up. She was very wistful and sad- hoping that she'll be remembered by her 3 kids.

SO- You have 10 days until Mother's Day. Have you got something planned? A card? A flower? A hug? Chocolates? A book or magazine? Dinner? 

Do something for your Mom! 

The 'cat' in Vacation

I consider myself a cat-lover, though I don't know if I'd ever like to have my own. (Kittens of course make me re-think this idea every once in awhile, but I've stood strong. I'm too afraid I'd become a "cat lady." That would be awful... plus litter boxes smell really really bad.)

 

This is about how a cat ruined my last night of vacation a month ago.

 

 

Time: 11pm

Place: My friends' house

Activity: Reading

Setting: The house is dark, minus the one little lamp I'm reading by- the other four occupants of the house have gone to sleep

Characters: Me and Sophie- the cat.

 

 

I had been reading for over an hour- I couldn't sleep even though I had an early breakfast meeting followed by a four hour road trip the next day. I was interrupted a couple of times by Sophie, the beautiful ragdoll cat, who was very happy to have a night owl in the house. She'd ignored me the first couple of days during my vacation and then we'd bonded that morning over a long piece of grass at the coffeetable. (I couldn't find any cat toys...) Apparently, that morning's experience had granted me access to her "best friends" list and I was now the very lucky recipient of her attention.

 

She was flighty that evening and pretended to watch things around the corner on the wall out of my line of sight. I smirked at her alertness and went back to my book- cats are trippy. She probably sees a moth, I thought.

 

 

Five minutes later my curiosity was aroused by the scratching sound on the wall. Peering around the corner I saw Sophie standing on her hind legs reaching up as high as she could on the wall. Bemused, I quietly asked her: "What's the matter Sophie?"

 

 

"Ma-oww!" she replied. She glanced at me and then began to insistently paw at the wall and meow even louder. "Ma-ow, mew, mrrow?"

 

 

"Hey now! You're going to wake the girls!" I quietly reproved her and THEN I looked up. The girls are lucky I'm not a screamer...

 

 

 

There at the top of the wall, in the corner was a giant roach. There are very few living creatures I dislike- roaches are one of them. Plus, I don't kill bugs. Can't stand the sound, feel, look, even thinking about it makes me gag and shiver. Usually I like most bugs, but not roaches...this was a large dilemma.

 

 

Well, Sophie will kill it if I bring it down to her, I thought. If only she hadn't pointed it out in the first place. Ignorance really was bliss.

 

 

To reach the roach, the closest things handy were a couple of Christmas tree branches. These had been cut from the girls' live tree and were lying on a dresser near the hallway. I wasn't sure if they were going to use them for decorating or not, but they were the perfect length for my purpose. That'll work, I told myself.

 

 

Very slowly I raised the branch toward the roach and gingerly guided it down the wall- toward Sophie who was sitting down and flicking her tail. She was satisfied that I was bringing her prey closer and stared intently. He was almost close enough when Sophie pounced on the wall and scared him back up a little ways.

 

 

"Stop it!!" I told her, barely containing my desire to flee: "Just wait another minute, ok? You will have to kill him because I won't! Sit. Stay." (Obviously I'm more used to talking to dogs...)

 

 

She sat back down and when I had him within her reach, pounced again. I can't watch, I thought, I'll go read my book now and let her finish the job. I hurried around the corner to the couch and tried to read another page in my book, hoping Sophie would eat the bug or drag it to some corner where I'd never have to see it again.

 

 

"Ma-ow! Ma-ow! Mrrrr-ow!" accompanied by scratching sounded from the hallway again. Peering around the corner I was dreading what I'd see. Sure enough there was Sophie, reaching for the ceiling. Her cries became more insistant when she saw me. (Honestly, I don't know how the roommates slept through the noise! ...It was about to get louder.)

 

 

"Ok, kit-kat, shush! Hang on." I assessed the situation. There was no more corner of the wall- now he was in the long part of the hallway. This meant the roach could travel further, faster. Not good.

 

 

Remembering the broom I'd seen in the house earlier that day I hurried through the dark unfamilar room and found it leaning against a chair. It's better than the tree branch and longer! I thought, this will keep the evil bug further away.

 

I decided to close the open bathroom door and flood the hall with light so the roach couldn't disappear. Hoping the light wouldn't disturb the sleeping roommates-especially my hostess, I raised the broom and glanced at Sophie who sat and practically purred in delight- she was about to hate me. Looking back up, I put the broom just above the roach to coax him down the wall as I'd done last time. Only this time he jumped onto the broom!

 

 

"Nooo!" I whispered frantically. "Get off! Get off!" He began to move down the broom handle like a disease-ridden robot. As he mounted the handle of the broommy panic escalated! I quickly lowered the broom to the floor (threw it)! The roach leaped from the broom to the hardwood floor and ran in my direction! All bets were off. The code of silence was broken. My feet and life were in danger!!

 

 

In a very muted way, this sound proceeded from my mouth: Ahhhh ah-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

 

I turned to run, but was hindered by the cat! I began jumping from side to side to avoid the broom handle and the cat's tail. The cat, who was startled by the noise and my sudden movements, hurried to get away from me. The problem was, she had no traction on the wooden floor so she ran in place. Picture a girl trying not to step on a cat who is running in place for its life with a roach charging them both. I'm not sure how we managed to make it out of that hallway. She darted one way and I darted the other until I'd reached the safe distance of 10 feet or so. Then I turned to see where my little brown enemy was...

 

 

He had followed me around my corner instead of chasing the cat and was standing near the wall. Shuddering I considered my options and they weren't good. The cat had failed- Sophie was not going to kill the roach. It was up to me. Grimly I set my mouth and shuddered again. Fine. I could do this...right?

 

 

A cup! I needed a cup or a bowl...something disposable. Stumbling through the dark unknown house I found a light switch for the kitchen. Behind the second cabinet door I opened I found a cup- a single tiny disposable cup. Almost too small. Argh! Why me?! It wouldn't work if it were any smaller. Where are all the big cups? In a hurry, I grabbed the tiny cup and hurried back to the scene of the crime...where the enemy still waited. Part of me hoped he had disappeared so I wouldn't have to come near him and the other part didn't like the idea of not knowing where he was.

 

 

He hadn't moved. Sophie had moved near him and was studying him but when she saw me she darted around the corner! All I could see were her ears and her eyes which glared at me... "I'm sorry! If you had killed him, this wouldn't have happened. Scared-y cat." I felt better after hurling an insult at the feline. Slowly I inched towards the roach and got lucky trapping him under the cup within seconds. Good...now what?

 

 

Seeing the pile of mail nearby I grabbed a magazine and slid it under the lip of the cup so that I had complete control of the insect. Ok ok ok, I coached myself, now all I have to do is, um... open the front door and let him go? No! He could crawl out of the cup and up my arm!! (I could imagine exactly what those little creepy legs with their hooked feet would feel like on the back of my hand and worked to stay calm.) I could leave him for these girls. It is their house after all so technically he's their problem... No. That wouldn't be kind. I'll have to deal with this. The toilet will work! That's a good option. You are getting flushed, Bug! ...And I hope you don't come back. Please don't come back!

 

 

Sliding my hand under the magazine I lifted it and the cup and headed towards the bathroom. Sophie dashed out of my way- still glaring. I fumbled with the closed bathroom door and my very insecure roach prison for a minute. Sighing I glared at the cup and then at Sophie who was twitching her tail. "Don't even start with me- this is YOUR job. It's not like I scared you on purpose, you know." We didn't agree, she swished her tail and put back her ears. "Fine. I can handle it without you."


I managed to open the door. Turning on the light with my elbow I approached the pink toilet. (Yes...it was pink...so weird. I'd have been more weirded out if I hadn't grown up with my grandparents' purple toilet. But I digress...) Checking on my prisoner I made sure he was in the top of the cup before I placed it on the water.

 

 

Ok, now all he has to do is fall out of the cup, I'll lift it and flush...voila! But it didn't happen that way. The cup floated. I was a little amused...the stress was making me hysterical, I suppose. I wondered if the roach could swim out from under that? Probably. I reached to tap him out of the cup so I could grab it, but it fell sideways and filled halfway with water. My enemy had skills ninjas dream of...he was out of that cup and on top of it almost before I remembered to jerk my hand away! He stared at me while floating there and I stared, horrified, back at him. NOW WHAT?!

 

 

Then he began to swim. He circled the cup and then began to climb the toilet walls! The broom!! I need the broom!!! I dashed into the hallway and almost ran into Sophie (who, even though she was still mad at me, knew I had her 'toy' and she wanted to know what I was doing.) Sophie had another 'running in place' moment as she slid and skittered on the hardwood floors to get far away from me. Other than noticing her mad dash I was too focused on the broom to see her probable look of disdain.

 

 

I hurried back to the toilet and couldn't see the roach. NOOOOOO!!! If he got out...just no. After all that effort and panic?! It cannot happen. He must die! I bravely bent and looked further in the toilet bowl. There he was! Crawling towards the top...another few inches and he'd be free. 

 

 

But I can't flush it with the cup in there! I thought. Must get it out! I reached in and grabbed that floating cup faster than I've moved since I ran from the hornet's nest on the playground. Then I flushed that toilet. And flushed it again for good measure. I disposed of the cup, sanitized myself, put the broom back, turned off the kitchen light, and then went back and flushed the toilet at third time...just to be on the safe side.

 

 

Sophie still glared at me from the dark living room, but I ignored her look and returned to my book. I only had 25 pages left and I was NOT sleepy at the moment. Eventually Sophie decided to forgive me and approached for more chin scratching before I finished my book. I flushed that toilet once more before heading to bed that night. In my head I hummed "Ding dong! The roach is dead! Da-dum-dum-dum Da-dum-dum-dum. Ding dong! The wicked roach is dead!"

P.S. The other girls in the house never woke up or heard the battle.
P.P.S. Sophie didn't really ruin my last night of vacation, it was the roach...but I think we're even.